i don't have a frakking dream wedding!

ok.  this is just weird.  i just realized i don't have a dream wedding!

a month after ross has proposed, i signed up as a member of Weddings@Work.  it's an online resource center of all...as in ALL...things about weddings.  from the venues to the gowns to the caterers, even to the littlest things such as the cord, cards, etc.  anyway, its yahoogroups is way too active, but very helpful.  i get ideas and useful links from all of the posts.  it's a huge support group too because aside from all the tips and links, a lot of its members also post their rants and problems and basically anything that gets them stressed out, especially when it comes to preparing for their weddings.  being the support group that it is, members comfort and talk sense to each other.  and they mention this term a lot:  dream wedding. 

i was on my usual reading habit of the messages, when it suddenly occurred to me...frak!  i don't have a dream wedding!  as in!  aside from the motif and theme that we have, i don't really have an idea of what kind of wedding i want.  i find this really weird.  i told ross about it, and he said it's okay that i don't have a dream wedding.  he said something about some girls being groomed, even from childhood, to start "planning" of their dream weddings.  then i thought, how come i wasn't like that when i was a kid?  the only thing i remember thinking about when i was a kid was my dress.  there were instances wherein i would dream what i would look like in a wedding dress, but more than that, what the wedding dress would look on me.  but aside from that, nothing.  zilch.  nada.  nil.  omg, am i normal?

even the gown, until now i don't have an idea of what kind of gown i would like to have and wear.  yes, i've already gathered pictures of wedding gowns that look pretty to me, but there's not one that made me say "this is what i would like to wear!"  omg, again, am i normal?

i know the wedding is still more than a year away, but we need to plan.  even this early.  because a lot of couples are getting married on the same year, month and even date as us, and they've already booked practically half of their suppliers.  again, i know this through W@W.

shit.  i'm not normal, am i?